Pretence
by Kaenen
Summary: Check out the epic RenxHoro. What will happed to Horo's hair, and what about the turkey pot pie? Find out in Pretence. RenxHoro, but nothing super graphic.
1. Wrath of the Fern!

**Pretence**

"Ren, stop it!" yelled Horohoro one foggy morning, but before I begin this fanfiction, I must explain to you about the story of the Turkey Pot Pie and the Fern.

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One day, while trying to escape it's certain doom of being eaten, a turkey pot pie crossed the path of a fern.

"Please do move out of the way Fern, as I am too small to jump over you, and I must continue along this road, or I will meet certain doom!" the turkey pot pie explained to the lush green fern, that was inconveniently placed in the middle of the road that the turkey pot pie was being forced to travel on.

"But why can you not just go around me, as it would be very unfeasible for me to move, as I was planted here by a wizard who didn't want people to follow this road to his home," told the fern to the pie.

"I cannot go around you because I am also spelled. I'm not sure why I am animated, but if I leave this path, I will become inanimate, and I don't wish for that to happen, as I would defiantly then be consumed by the humans that are currently pursuing me," explicated the pie.

"Well then why don't you crawl through me, I don't mind, after all, you are in a life of death situation, and I don't mind if a few of my leaves are bent, because I was planted by a magician, they just straighten anyways," said the fern.

"Oh thank you Fern, I will be forever in your dept, if you need anything, I will help you, and if you are in trouble I will help you, just as you helped me. Thank you and au revoir Fern!" Then the turkey pot pie ascended over the ferns leaves, and then it was faced a great stone laneway, surrounded by a lush and vibrant garden. In the distance, there was a large stone castle (it know, it's too cliché, but it was all I could think of at the time so shuddap!)

The pie continued to roll its way to the castle, hoping to find refuge. Eventually it reached the gates, but despite the abundant surroundings, everything inside the gates, and even the gates themselves, was dead. The turkey pot pie rolled its way cautiously towards the gate, and once it decided the way was safe, the pie rolled into the black and grey coloured yard. There was a collection of dead trees, surrounded by dead grass, and there, right in front of the pie, there was an enormous stone staircase. There were two large guardian statues, one of a Chinese-type dragon, and the other of something that looked sort of like a prodigious snake with wings. As the pot pie rolled monotonously towards the stairway, the statues started to gain colour, and the claw of the Chinese dragon moved. The pie froze, and rolled as fast as it could towards the gate, but the flying snake moved more rapidly.

It surrounded the pie and spoke in a deep voice.

"_Meat-flavoured one, we have awaited you for so many moons _(one 'moon' is 35 days, 14 hours, 37 minutes, 52 seconds and 9 milliseconds)_ that we have turned to stone. You have finally come to free us from our eternal post. We succumb to you O Meaty One!" _the flying snake declared, the dragon then landed beside the 'Meaty One' and bowed its head, as the flying snake did also.

"Well then, could you explain to me why you have been waiting for me?" the pie questioned.

"_We are sorry Meaty-One, but we are not allowed to tell you, it will come to you in time,"_ the dragon explained. _"For the time being, we must take you to the top of the tower so you can rebuild you kingdom,"_ and with that, the dragon gently picked up the pie and carried him to the top of the castle, where for many moons, the turkey pot pie rebuilt and watched over his resurrected kingdom (or should I say piedom?)

While the pie was walking through his garden, he started to hear petit voices.

"_Your Highness, the one that helped you many moons ago, is finally in need of your help, help the fern, help the fern, you must help the fern, remember, remember, o to the fern…"_ the pie did not know where the voices were coming from, but because he was concerned about his own mental health, he went to talk to Dark (the dragon) and Wing (the snake with wings).

"Dark, Wing, I demand answers! Why was I hearing voices in the garden while I was out rolling?!" the Turkey Pot Pie shrieked.

"_Well your Meatiness, would you happen to remember the day you came to us?"_ Dark asked.

"Well of course, when I was animated, I heard about the most devastating scheme. Where the humans planned to eat me, so of course, as any sane pie would do, I ran away. Then while I was rolling, I came across a large dead piece of land. So as any curious pie would do, I rolled onside to see why it was so dead. Then I met you, and you told me to come and rebuild my piedom, so I did." But because the pie had been so absorbed in his piedom, he became too selfish to remember the fern that had helped him.

"_Well actually you Meatiness, there was another part that you seem to have forgotten. While you were trying to escape, you came across a fern, which was blocking the road you were travelling on, and that fern helped you escape the humans... and you said that you would do anything to help that fern, and now is your time to do so. You must go save the fern that helped you many moons ago, and fulfill your promise,"_ Wing informed the pie.

"Well I guess I could take some time to go help this… fern… you're talking about, Wing, take me to the fern!" but little did 'His Meatiness' know, there would be some problems with helping Fern.

"_This is as far as we can go Your Meatiness; the rest is yours to deal with. Good luck, and farewell!"_ and Wing flew away, after bidding adieu to his ex-master.

The turkey pot pie was devastated by his abandonment, so he walked away, sulking, until he came across the path of a magnificent looking fern.

"Well hello Fern, why might you be planted here, in this lonely place?" the pot pie asked the fern.

"Oh, hello Turkey Pot Pie, I am finally in need of your assistance, the humans are coming to destroy me, and they wish to clear the path, so they can make something called 'Road'. I need you to help me, as I helped you many moons ago." The fern told the pie.

"Well actually, don't remember you helping me, but I will help you anyways, as I have waited my entire life for this moment, and if I didn't help you, what would my life mean; an empty pie shell, with no fillings, a lonely piece of wasted turkey a…" and the pie continued with his monotonous metaphors.

"Well that's great," the fern commented about ten minutes later. "But we still need to save me. I don't know why the humans wish to make 'Road' and I don't know how to stop them, but I'm sure you will do a great job Pie."

"Well when the humans come, I will just have to confront them," decided the pie foolishly, forgetting that the humans wanted to eat it, and that it was the entire reason they were here (but you're not supposed to know that yet so be silent!)

When the humans came, only minutes later, the pie rolled up to the feet of the first one. She was much taller than the pie, and she was the owner of a company called 'Leeks and Liver' (how gross! Why would anyone call their company that? I would never buy anything from there). She had come to… retrieve her prototype pie! Mwuahahahaha!!!

"There it is, catch the rabid pie! We mustn't let it escape, or sure doom will befall us!" Then a whole bunch of people ran forwards to catch the pie. And soon after, the pie was stuffed in a sac, and was on its way to being examined and most likely eaten by a flock of vicious emus (you can never trust those emus, they're evil…)

"Stupid, foolish pie, it was too busy trying to fulfill a promise that it didn't even remember making, that it didn't even stop to think that the humans were coming to capture it, or that I was truly one of their allies… the world will be mine! Evil laughter, and all of its inhabitants will bow down to ME!" the malicious fern that had seemed to nice, had betrayed the pie, and continued with its evil plot to rule the world, manipulating everything, and everyone, until it's was ready to grow and make the world it's puppet. Which it eventually did, 3,586 moons later.


	2. Red as Blood

**Yay, second chapter!!! By the way, I don't own SK, but I do own the redness of Horo's hair, so get your own colour! Enjoy!!**

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(Now on with the actual story, FYI Ren and Horo are living at Yoh's house, with pretty much everyone, but Ren and Horo are the only ones at the house right now) "Why should I?" demanded Ren, not wanting to let his fun be vanquished just because some (cute) punk told him to.

"Ren, I'm serious, stop this right no-" but the one name Horo was cut off, by a large amount of water running down his face rapidly.

"Ren Tao, stop this nonsense immediately!" Horo was getting pissed. He tried to punch his tormentor in the stomach, but Ren stepped just enough to the side to dodge it, without letting go of his Horohoro.

"Come on now Horo, you must be getting bored of that colour, it's so… jaded," answered Ren, choosing the perfect word for his sentence. Ren grabbed some shampoo, and rubbed it into Horo spiky hair, ignoring the protests coming from the relief of his boredom.

"Re-en," complained Horo, "I bet you've never even dyed anyone's hair before. You're gonna make it look like my brains are on the outside if my head."

"Now don't fret my little guinea-pig, I hardly ever make any mistakes, and how hard can dyeing someone's hair be. All you have to do is put disgusting water-like substance on it and let it sit for a while," said Ren confidently, rinsing off Horo's hair.

"If it's disgusting, then why the hell do you want to put it in my hair!?"

"Because I'm bored," answered Ren simply, as he opened the box of hair dye. He attempted to place a large glob of it on Horo's head, but because he needed two hands to open the box, he didn't have any left over to keep Horo from moving around and/or running away. The dye landed on the floor and started to flow everywhere.

"Shit!" yelled Ren and went to grab some paper towels to clean it up before it spread too much. Horo was too mystified by the amazing pattern that the dye made on the floor to run away while he had the chance. It looked like blood, and felt like blood, what if it was blood (the dye is red FYI)? Horo stared open mouthed at the dye stain while Ren came rushing back into the room.

"Horo, stop looking at the dye, and help me clean it up!" Ren ordered.

"But I can't, the bloo- I mean, the dye is so... red… so…" Horo muttered, mesmerized by the blood like dye.

"What's wrong with you Horo, the dye isn't scary… and you shouldn't react to it like that. I mean it the only thing scary about it is that it sort of looks like blood," Ren stated, while mopping up the dye.

Horo shuddered.

"Oh, I get it, hahaha, Horo; you're scared of blood aren't you?" Ren deducted.

Horo, who had finally snapped out of his hypnotism, attempted to defend himself "I am not, scared of blood," he lied.

"You are so, you're scared of blood. Well then I guess you won't be able to look at your hair once I've dyed it," said Ren playfully, while latching himself to Horo, so he couldn't get away.

"No!" screeched Horo, while trying to squirm away from Ren grasp. But Ren somehow managed to rub the dye into Horo's now red hair, without letting him get away.

"Man, now I look like I have ketchup in my hair!" groaned Horo.

"Aww, don't be so hard on yourself, I like it. It looks… cute, almost… sexy," Ren complimented. "And I do say, I did an excellent job dyeing it."

"Ren! Sexy!? Sorry, but I don't swing that way, you're disgusting! I can't believe a gay dyed my hair!!" Horo shied away from Ren, but they both knew Horo was just joking. The two had never actually admitted their love, but they both knew that the other had feelings for them. It was defiantly a love-hate relationship.

"Oh come on, and you're telling me that you've never had any interest in a guy?" Ren accused.

"Now I never said that, quit putting words in my mouth."

"So you're admitting you're gay? How hypocritical!" the pair then burst into laughter, and a few minutes later, they were leaning on each other, wheezing, and trying to regain their breath. It's not that their little argument had been super hilarious, but it just felt good to be with the other, and not have to worry about what was going on. Just being able to relax and have fun.

"You know what Horo?"

"What?"

"We should go somewhere, on a trip. Let's go to an onsen (a hot spring resort). Just us, it'll be fun."

"Well I don't see why not, sure, let's go to an onsen," Horo agreed.

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(After arriving at the onsen) "What!? What do you mean that you gave us the same room! We aren't together… like that! What's wrong with you people!?" Horo said outraged and devastated, but what he didn't know, was the Ren had arranged it.

Ren laughed in his head "It's fine, we'll just take it," he said with a little smile on his face, but Horo was too astounded to notice. "Come on now Horo, we don't want to cause them any trouble. Let's just go to our room, and if we have time before supper, we can go in the hot spring," Ren told him, dragging Horo away by his arm.

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"Ahh," sighed Ren, and easing himself into the hot relaxing water of the outside hot spring. "I'm glad I thought of this, I am an awesome person."

"Don't get too cocky, (hehe, I love that word… it reminds me of Edward from FMA because I have an icon of him grinning and it says 'Current Mood: Cocky, and it makes me laugh because Ed is defiantly cocky, and I love him squeezes her friend's Ed plushie) it will make you look like an egotistical freak (which Ren is, but I love him anyways too squeezes her friends Ren plushie)," Horo told him.

"It's none of your business if I'm an egotistical freak, that's my choice in life, and if you don't like it then I suggest you leave, or I will beat you with a stick (the whole 'stick' thing is from one of my Ikkaku icons, he's from Bleach)," Ren threatened.

"Wow, now I feel safe, you can't get mad at me for saying the truth," Horo said sarcastically.

Ren then splashed Horo with water, cause a full-scale water splashing battle! (I had one of those once, it was fun) After they were the colour of cooked lobster, the two friendly rivals dried themselves and but on their funny little bath robes, (those things make me laugh, hahaha!) and returned to their room.

Ren was in the middle of drinking a glass of milk, when Horo asked him 'the question'.

"Hey Ren,"

"Hmm?' Ren answered, as he couldn't talk because he was drinking.

"How are we gonna sleep, I mean, are we gonna share the same bed 'cause that would be really awkward (but oh so cute all at the same time… sigh), or is one of us gonna sleep on the floor?" Horo asked.

Ren, after swallowing, said "Hmm, you know what Horo, I really don't want to sleep on the floor tonight, but you can if you want. Even though it is sort of hard, I wouldn't recommend it, it might give you back and neck pains."

"Well I don't want to sleep on the floor either, but it's not my fault, and we don't let any of the others know about it, okay?" Horo proposed (what an appropriate word)

"Okay, sure. I don't really care," Ren answered, and as Horohoro left to go to bed, he didn't notice the smile on Ren's face as he turned to finish his milk.

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**Well please reveiw, again ideas are welcome. Hope you like it!**


	3. Eavesdropping and Koala Plushies

**YAY!!!! I finally posted the third chapter!!! So I hope you enjoy. FYI, the only reason it took so long was cause I got my laptop taken away, and it took me like a week to steal it back. By the way, all the stuff in the brackets ( / ) is just me rambling on, and isn't really important, but occasionally funny in my opinion.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King, or any of it's characters**

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When Ren woke up that morning, after a restless night with Horo hogging all the blankets and making him cold, and therefore difficult to sleep, all Ren heard was Horo's deep snoring, which had also made sleeping hard. Ren gave Horo an angry look, and told him to wake up, as it was morning, and they needed to return home so Ren could attend to his important business. Horohoro just continued to sleep, so Ren shook him lightly. Horo just turned around and sleep-grabbed Ren around the neck. Ren, stuck in a very uncomfortable, and slightly painful position.

"Horo," Ren said ineffectively, "Horo! Wake up!" He said slightly louder, causing Horohoro to hug his neck like he was some sort of plushie (in case you haven't guessed yet, I have a plushie addiction, but unfortunately I also have a problem with spending money, and am for ed to live without my plushies… sigh… and the whole thing with squeezing my friend's plushies wouldn't actually work, because I'm sure if I even tried to touch one of her plushies, I would be decapitated or murdered in some brutal way… maybe she'll make me go insane with Chinese Water Torture… hmm, I should torture someone… it would be fun) and cause Ren to lose the little balance he had, and fell on Horohoro.

"Yes, I know my little Ko-la, Ren _is _bossy, and mean, I mean, he dyed my hair, how more mean can you get than that, and I didn't even want him to dye it. Now the outside of head looks like the inside of my head," said Horo in his sleep, while petting Ren's head (Ko-la is Horo's stuffed koala toy, and he's dreaming about his Ko-la, who is actually Ren).

"Horo, you bastard, wake up!" Ren yelled, while punching Horo across the head.

"Oww, hey Ren, what was that for? You're mean!" Horo complained, and removed one hand from around Ren's heck to rub his injury."

"You wouldn't wake up, and you were snoring and insulting me to you… Ko-la… whatever the hell that is. Then you hugged me forcefully and wouldn't let go, so I had no choice but to punch you," Ren informed Horohoro.

"Hahaha, I was wondering what your reaction to that would be!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!? You were awake the whole time weren't you! Horo, I'll get you-" but Ren was cut off by the pressing of Horo's lips against his.

Ren's eyes went wide with surprise, then he closed them and deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around Horo's neck, and pulling him into a sitting position, without breaking their kiss. Horo pulled away gently.

"How long have you known?" Ren asked Horo.

"Oh, I found out a while ago, actually when you called to make reservations for coming here. If I do recall correctly, you said something along the lines of 'and please make sure we're in the same room' or something like that…"

"Horo you eavesdropper!" Ren yelled jokingly. "So how long have you..." asked Ren, not even needing to finish his sentence.

"Ever since you stopped trying to kill us," Horo replied. "What about you?"

"The first time I saw you, I thought I would hate you forever, after I saw how so many people loved you, and cared for you, I was jealous, because I saw how you didn't even have to try, and people were attached to you. I thought I would hate you forever, then my hate turned to admiration, and then to love, and I thought 'wow, how lucky is he? Having all of his friends, and his sister, who is scary and bossy, but loves him anyways. I wish I could have that.' So I guess it was about a couple months after we first met that I fell in love with you. My Horo, I love you," explained Ren, as he leaned his head against Horo's shoulder, and pulled Horo into an affectionate hug.

Horo hugged him back and told him, "I love you too Ren." (awww, it's so 's cute! I really enjoyed writing this scene, I'm sorry if you didn't like it, but I really love it. Ren's monologue was so hard to write though, I couldn't think of how to word it. FYI, I wrote this about a RenxHoro pic I have where Horo is sleeping while hugging a pillow and it's got little hearts above him in a thought bubble, and Ren is sitting up beside him with an annoyed look. It so adorable, I love it.)

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"So exactly how are we going to explain… us… to the guys? Do you have any ideas, 'cause I don't have any," Horo asked Ren, while they were taking the nearly empty bus home from the onsen.

"Horo, we don't need to explain ourselves to them, besides, it will be way more fun to keep them guessing, and hear what they think. Don't you think so?"

"I guess, besides, I really shouldn't worry about the future, what happens, happens, and we can't really change that, and I really would like to hear what they think is going on, it will be pretty funny," Horohoro replied.

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"Hey, welcome back Ren and Horo (ya, I know it's unfair to Horo to keep putting Ren first, but Ren and Horo just sounds so much better than Horo and Ren), how was you trip?" asked a smiling Yoh when the two lovers arrived back at the house. "Did you two get anything exciting done while you were away? And what happened to your hair!?" Yoh's was acting strange, he never seemed so energetic. He was always either sleeping or getting ordered around by Anna, who happened to be standing next to him, with a smile on her face, and Amidamaru and Manta was also with them, grinning like a Cheshire cats.

"Hi Yoh," Ren replied, his voice said that he too was suspicious of Yoh. "Why are you so energetic?" he said, sidestepping the questions.

"Oh, no reason," Yoh said, laughing. "I'm just glad you're back that's all."

'Okay, whatever you say," Ren replied, brushing Yoh's energetic actions off. "Come on Horo, let's go."

Ren led Horo away, into the house, just to be greeted by everyone else in the same manner, even Faust (so I know you may be wondering why Faust is living with them, and normally I wouldn't have added him, but I just had to put him in my fanfiction. Plus I needed to use him as a really good example. He's awesome; I love your crazy scariness Faust! It's amazing!) was acting smug and energetic.

"Hey guys, welcome back," he greeted them with the same stupid grin that Yoh had. "So how was your vacation, did anything happen? And Horo, that colour looks good on you."

Horo was speechless by Faust's grinning and happiness, that he couldn't speak, so Ren spoke for him.

"Why? Was there supposed to be something that happened?" Ren answered, again dodging the questions.

"No, I was just curious, things happen when two people go away by themselves on a vacation, especially two young and single men…" Faust told them. (Hmmm, is it just me or does Faust sound gay when he says that… maybe I should make him gay… but with who?)

"Eh…?" Horo managed to sound, overwhelmed by confusion.

"I don't know my Horohoro, I don't know," Ren answered as Faust walked away in an unusually happy mood.

The two shamans walked back outside, and luckily, no one was there to annoy them.

"Ren, lets go for a walk, I'm bored," Horohoro suggested, walking towards the forest bordering the Asakura house (I don't think there actually is a forest at the house, but there is in my fanfiction so just pretend you don't know there really isn't one).

"Sure, whatever you want, I have nothing better to do," Ren replied, and he walked to catch up with Horohoro, grabbing his hand.

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After walking in silence for a while, hand in hand, just enjoying the scenery (haha, that word amuses me, I mean how often is it that one gets to use the word 'scenery'), they two lovers came across a small fern in the middle of the road. It was a deep green, and healthy looking, with fine frills of plant sprouting from its stalk (do ferns even have stalks? I don't think they do, but you all understand me, and if you don't then why are you reading this story?)

"Oh look Ren, isn't it so pretty?" Horo asked the purple haired wonder beside him.

"Hmmm… it's….," said Ren, trying to think of a word to describe its magnificence, "splendorous."

"I love it, but the strange thing is, I've never seen any plant that looks like it at all. ('cause my Horo is such a plant expert)

"Well I'm sure there are many plants that you haven't seen, just quit worrying about it," Ren responded casually.

"Hey Kororo, have you seen a plant that looks like this?" Horo asked his nature spirit (sorry, I can't remember the actual name for Kororo right now, I'm really tired because I'm not supposed to be on my computer right now as a punishment, so I snuck on and it's like 3 in the morning, so sorry if there's anything wrong with my story right now)

Horo's timid little spirit came out (of where, I'm not sure, Horo doesn't have his snowboard with him no so let's just pretend she was just there), and nodded her head.

"See, Kororo doesn't even know what it is, that means it special," Horo stated firmly.

"I guess so. Let's go sit over here, I'm tired of standing," Ren said, changing the subject.

"Okay, but don't think I'll forget about the plant that easily," Horo responded, running over to sit beside Ren, who was situated on a small hill over looking a large river. Horo sat beside Ren, and hugged him, leaning his head on Ren's shoulder and closing his eyes.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," Horo commented, feeling the warm golden sun (I know it's really old, but has anyone ever played Golden Sun? It's awesome and if you come across a copy buy it and send it to me, I'll pay you back. One of my guy friends bought it and let my play it, but then he sold it, which made me sad) against his skin, and sighed. _"This is perfect. In this beautiful place, with my lover beside me, just enjoying life. No wonder Yoh wants to live a careless life,"_ Horo thought.

Ren hugged Horo back, leaning softly against him, and sighed as well, thinking the exact same thoughts.

A few moments later, Horo's stomach let out an ominous growl.

"Aww man," the Ainu groaned, "I'm starved, let's go back home and get some food.

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**Now wasn't that amazing? I thought so too. But I need suggestions cause I'm having a writer's block right now. So give me your ideas. ****Thanks!! **

**Midnight Demoness**


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